December 2008
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I am The Cyberwolfe and these are my ramblings. All original content is protected under a Creative Commons license - always ask first.
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Archive for December, 2008

Day two.

Posted in Life on December 31st, 2008

Funny that day two is actually the last day – of the year, anyway. Sitting here watching the news, and they’re running a spot on the bars throwing out the ashtrays at midnight.

Today was better than yesterday, less anxiety. Plus my body is adjusting to the slow but constant influx of nicotiene instead of the usual sporadic dosing. Still fighting the psychological effects. I keep standing up and reaching for my jacket, and then remember. So many physical habits to break.

Day one.

Posted in Life on December 30th, 2008

I smoked a cigarette at 6:20 this morning, and I haven’t had one since. I put the patch on at 7:10am.

I had some second-hand smoke while waiting for my dinner to cook. I went to a local Chinese restaraunt for takeout – hadn’t been to this one before, and I thought trying something new and treating myself a little for not smoking all day would be a good thing. Good and bad, actually – good to treat myself, bad for going to that restaraunt. The lemon chicken was barely edible. Anyway, the waiting area is pretty close to the Lotto section where some ancient Asian man was smoking away while plugging quarters into a poker machine.

They have non-smoking areas in the casinos in ‘Vegas. Only tourists go there. The locals all smoke.

There has been a sense of anxiety for me all day today – like I was forgetting something important and couldn’t figure out what it was. Only I knew what it was, of course. That empty spot in my jacket pocket.

So the patch seems to be dealing with the physical withdrawl symptoms, at least so far, but the psychologocal symptoms are something else entirely.

Tough times for me to get past:
First thing in the morning.
In the car on the way to work.
Meals.
After work, or after completing any extended task.
Just before bed.

I can do this.

So much for brotherly love

Posted in Life on December 25th, 2008

There we were, having a pretty good Holiday – Tolerant and I had exchanged gifts in the morning, then slushed our way over to Pookie’s for breakfast and more gifts, and then back to Tolerant’s to drop her off. When we got to Tolerant’s, my car threw a chain off in the process of parking, but I managed to get it back on.

When I got home a while later, I noticed that I had thrown that same chain off again, and asked Tolerant to go look at the end of the street, and sure enough she found it. On the way back to her apartment, some asshole tried to grab it out of her hands, claiming she had stolen it. He even went so far as to follow her back to her apartment and start calling 911 when she called me. I told her it wasn’t worth dealing with that kind of asshole, and to let him have the damn thing.

The whole situation pissed her off so much that she had to hang up the phone so she could scream.

So to you Sir, I say thanks for ruining an otherwise Happy Holiday. Go fuck yourself with a chainsaw.

Brrr!

Posted in Life on December 15th, 2008

For those of you that may be thinking about it, Winter is definitely the time of year to consider quitting smoking: one less reason to go outside in the freezing is a good thing. Definitely an incentive for me right now.

I may be furry, but I’m not THAT furry, and I’ve always hated the cold.

First times and last times

Posted in Life on December 2nd, 2008

Today was an epic day of firsts and lasts:

First time in something like two years that I have bought gas for less than $2 a gallon.

Last carton of cigarettes I will ever purchase.

That’s right kids, Da Wolfie is jumping off the bandwagon. On Jan 1 2009, all Oregon bars and pubs go permanent non-smoking, so the only place I will legally be able to smoke indoors is in my car. (My lease prohibits it, and I agree, my house used to smell terrible when I smoked inside.) So I have purchased my last carton and will nurse it throughout the month. If I haven’t managed to kick the nicotein addiction by the first, it will be Nicorette or the Patch, no more smokes no matter what.

Deity help you all.