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I am The Cyberwolfe and these are my ramblings. All original content is protected under a Creative Commons license - always ask first.
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Why Emperor?

The current poll on slashdot asks “Preferred Title: King, Emperor, Shogun, President, Prime Minister, Kwisatch Haderach?” The two prevailing answers are Emperor and Kwisatch Haderach. One lost soul asked “What about good ol’ Democracy?”

I’ve posted my response here, because any response on a /. would sink into obscurity. I post it here, it starts out in obscurity, so can only get better :)

Me, I chose Emperor. Here’s why:

Most idiots wouldn’t know what a Kwisatch Haderach was if he bit them on the ass, and it would take far too long to explain to the Bible Belters. You’d have to basically wipe them out, and that’s an expensive proposition that foments rebellion. Emperor is already well-defined.

In a Democracy, people can tell you “no”. People, more often than not, who have no idea what they’re voting on in the first place. I have studied politics and law as it relates to running a country, and the Pres really doesn’t have the pull to accomplish what I want done. He has to answer to too many people.

King wouldn’t be bad, but let’s face it: the most well-known Kingdom the world over would have to be England, also known as Brittain, AKA the United Kingdom. Obviously, a King has trouble making up his mind. And once again, there’s that whole Parliament thing. The Holy Roman Empire, though…well, they had something going there. Nothing wishy-washy about that.

I do believe that Democracy is the best option in the long-term, but to make the changes I want to make, I can’t have people second-guessing me. I want obedience now, discussion later if I feel like it. Far better, of course, if you figure it out after watching the results, but I may explain my methods and madness on occasion.

Oh – and I’m not talking Emperor of America here – I’m thinking more of a world-wide scale.

Some ideas on changes I would make:

-I would round up all of the gang-bangers from the inner cities and form them into military units. If they are too stupid to realize the downward spiral they are in, I will use them as cannon-fodder and be done with them. The best way to avoid death in my military will be to put whatever brains you have to good use.

-While I was building that military, I would almost completely close the borders of the USA, and cut off all financial support to non-citizens. Those who wish to become citizens may join the military on a 6-year hitch.

-There would be some sweeping reforms to tax law in an effort to even things out, so that the rich really do pay the lion’s share of the taxes. Individuals would pay on a weighted percentage scale as usual, but businesses would pay a percentage of their profits, with ‘profits’ to be defined as “monies paid to the company that did not go into supporting the company by paying for equipment purchases, salaries, health care, utilities, services or stock materials.” Corporate salaries would be limited by law, with the highest-paid executive being capped at 6 times the salary of the lowest-paid employee. Tax evasion is punishable by enforced military service.

-I would build that army into the Hammer of God, and use it to bring about peace. Places like the Middle East would be given an ultimatum: you have one year to come to peaceful terms with your neighbors, or I will pound you. Then I will follow through on the promise, in spades. None of this shit like Iraq, with under-sized forces and occupation. Massive strikes with overwhelming numbers and weapons for quick, decisive wins. Any surviving peoples will be given the option of becoming citizens, or we can arrange a meeting with your DOC.

-Once I have gotten most of the world under my direct control, I would set about the ‘public works’ portion of the plan and even out the technology gap in the smaller nations so that they may better meet the needs of the citizens there. My laws would be strict, but fair, and geared toward convincing the populace of the benefits work and responsibility for your own actions. Welfare would undergo reforms, and probably include some form of enforced birth control – if you can’t afford to support your current family, you are banned from increasing it’s size until such time as you can support them.

The last decade or so of my reign would be devoted to re-establishing democracy. By the time I’m done, the world will have either figured out how to get along and make democracy work, or I will have stomped it flat.

All I need now is to take over the US military somehow…

2 replies to “Why Emperor?”

  1. Merennulli Says:

    Such insight and no comments for 9 months? Ok, I guess I have to say something.

    I came here after using google to look up the spelling of ‘Kwisatch Haderach’. I am a Bible Belt’er, and a Christian, but I do know the term and have read much of the series (about a third of the way through God Emperor of Dune at the moment, and with a philosophy about books I picked up from Heinlein’s “Farnhams Freehold”, I’ve got the whole Dune collection on my shelf.)

    That said, I’d agree fully with your choice of Emperor. Even Paul Mua’dib, the Kwisatch Haderach next sought out the title of Emperor, and his son took that further to become the God Emperor (while both hated the false religious nature of their positions). Even within the book, the title Emperor is used for the same reason you seek it.

    I don’t agree with your notion of the military, or democracy for that matter though. The military should not be primarily composed of those facing punishment, not until you have a strong core of dedicated commanding officers who trust you implicitly. An armed band of soldiers oppressing in your name while being oppressed themselves are just going to rebel the first time the inspiration presents itself. Democracy is also a false hope. Your goal should be to set up a system outside of human hands. One subject to change, but not the whim of the masses or their leaders. The US Constitutional notion of the three parties (state, fed, and individual) voting on ammendments is a good start, but far too limited.

    Leto II is a perfect example of what is needed. Someone with a heart for humanity’s survival and improvement, but who isn’t afraid to do what must be done. He becomes the secretly benevolent villain so that humanity can collectively be the hero.

    Now if only I could find some sandtrout and melange ;)

  2. The Cyberwolfe Says:

    As far as the military goes, the idea has always been to start with what is in place, and train them to an even higher level – basically, get the grunts that can think enough into and through officer training. And being an officer in my military would carry some substantial rewards. Once that is done, _then_ I start feeding the gangers into the front ranks.

    Tax evaders and other “white collar” criminals forced into military service would get the hard work, such as the Engineers Corps. Once a few hundred get blisters cleaning up the toxic waste dumps and industrial pollution, I think word will get around that I mean business. Repeat offenders go to the front lines.

    That last bit about bringing Democracy back has always been the sticking point in the plan. Human nature being what it is, the path to corruption would soon pave itself again, but I can’t think of anything that would work better short of an immortality potion to keep me alive.

    Time to get working on that project to download my consciousness (and humanity) into a machine.

    And Bible Belter or not, you read Heinlein. That’s good enough a recommendation for me.