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I am The Cyberwolfe and these are my ramblings. All original content is protected under a Creative Commons license - always ask first.
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Archive for September 10th, 2004

Take one for your country

Posted in Politics on September 10th, 2004

Ran across a couple interesting sites this morning urging folks to take one for your country.

The first is Fuck The Vote, which urges people to help keep Bush from a second term by trading sexual favors for a non-Bush vote this November. From the website:

At Fuck The Vote we provide a Pledge Sheet that can be used conveniently before becoming physically intimate with a conservative. The Pledge Sheet asks the signee to make a promise to vote for anyone but George Bush in the November election. FTV has not endorsed a single candidate but recommends strategic voting. We also encourage FTV fans to take road trips this summer to swing(er) states to collect pledges. If you collect a pledge let us know about it on the Swinger States page! Have safe fun fucking over Bush while fucking for votes.

A noble project indeed, and one I can get fully behind (or in front of, as the case may be!) Just remember folks, that “anyone other than Bush” has a chance of fragmenting the vote – you really should pick a candidate that has a chance of winning. Unfortunately, that means Kerry. I know, the choices suck AGAIN this year.

The second site is aimed at just getting more people to vote, by pledging to have sex with a voter on election day and/or withold sex from non-voters for at least a week after election day. To earn “American Hero” status, one would withold sex from non-voters for a period of 4 years. Votergasm has this to say:

# Pledge-fulfilling sex must be consensual, legal, and generous. And safe. And hot.
# Acceptable sexual positions include, but are not limited to: missionary, doggy-style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, leapfrog, butterfly, humpback whale, cling wrap, squashing of the deck chair, accordion, reverse piggy-back, advanced (“twin”) leapfrog. Male-male, female-female, group, and oral variations of these positions can also be used to satisfy the pledge.

# “Cybersex” does not satisfy the pledge, dorkwad.

# Achievement of a Votergasm during election-night sex is probable, but not guaranteed. Those encountering difficulty reaching Votergasm are encouraged to slow things down, talk about it, and reduce the pressure. Other techniques include the use of massage oils, toys, “dirty talk,” “ballot stuffing,” and “exit polls.”
# Per the U.S. Constitution, children conceived on election night are eligible for gigantic interest-free loans from the U.S. government, and special t-shirt

There you have it folks – get out there and persuade some voters!